Winter again.

cold long nights
darkness expands

anxiety
avoidant
drained again
quiet
different
not myself again
[but it is the half of me]
I hide each winter so no one sees
words hit me like knives
everything is personal

paranoid
assuming
isolated again

worst case scenarios play like a metronome

I fight
then give in
then fight
and give in
repeat for the next few months
repeat
repeat
repeat each year.
the only thing that doesn’t get easier with time
or practice
or experience
or preparing
waiting for the darkness to pass
while I watch those around me
notice my change
and I notice my mind
fall into sadness
repeat
repeat
repeat.

About lifewithbipolardisorderweb

I am a free-spirit, minimalist, and loner. INFP, Pisces, Ennegram 4.
This entry was posted in bipolar, Depression, seasonal affective disorder, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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