I feel like being bipolar has given me a higher capacity for good and bad. I can feel more than most people. I can be more excited and feel more love than most. I can also feel darkness far more than most. I know we all have varying degrees of this and there are times I wish to take it all away and it isn’t worth the pain. There are fleeting moments that I feel like I can see beauty in everything that does make it feel worth it all. I notice small things others may find insigfigant that make me so happy and peaceful. I try to enjoy it as much as I can. I know I deserve to because when I’m low I count the days to feel that way again. Today is one of those fleeting days. Life is such a mess for me right now but I find peace in the chaos and strength in my perseverance. I know those with other mental health issues would not feel the same as it is always dark or normal for them. I do feel lucky regardless that I get my highs as long as they don’t go too far. Summer is always my best time. I long for it in the dark seasons. Today I will give myself permission to feel the happiness and not over think it. Easier said than done but sometimes you have to let yourself off the hook to be free even with the waves.